So, what is the Rabbit Hole, and what the hell is it that we are doing?

The Rabbit Hole is the void, the undiscovered country, the places you’ve always dreamed about... The Rabbit Hole is Everything, it’s Everywhere.

And that’s exactly where we are heading - Everywhere. We’re selling our house, selling our lot (where we were going to build a new house), taking our kids out of school, and are going to become Full-time Vagabonders.

The March Hare asked, “Why don’t you start at the beginning?”, then the Mad Hatter added, “Yes, and when you reach the end... Stop!” Well, I hope we never reach the end. But here is the beginning...

My wife, Buffy, and I have lived in New York City for the past 23 years. We moved here to become actors (I know, like fifty million other people did). Still, we’ve both had some success as actors: Buffy with TV shows like Spencer for Hire, and movies like Three Sovereigns for Sarah; and me with TV shows like HBO’s OZ, and several movies, Off Broadway, and Off Off Broadway shows. I also write, direct, and produce (which I’ve done with a few Short Films). Buffy actually, ultimately, moved into a different direction, and became one of the most sought after cake designers in NYC. Baking birthday cakes for clients like Phil Collins, James Gandolfini, Joan Allen, NBC head Jeff Zucker, and hundreds more (all of whom are devastated at the prospect of no more buffycakes).

Then, fourteen  years ago, we had an amazing, beautiful daughter, Taylor. Then three years later our magnificent son, Zach, was born. At first, we thought about moving out of the city to raise our kids, but then decided that the cultural advantages of NYC were just to great to throw away; and we stayed. But we were very lucky to have family in other, more suburban, places to balance things out. My entire family, brother, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc... all live in Myrtle Beach, SC. And my mom, brother, sister, and I have a house that sits on top of a mountain, smack dab in the middle of the Smokey Mountains.  Buffy’s family is a little more spread out, living in Boston MA, Louisville KY, and Madeira Beach Fl.. The kids have always traveled on holidays, and have always spent the entire summer break in Myrtle Beach with all their cousins. It seemed a perfect life. But...

...It started to get harder and harder to drag the kids back to New York at the end of the summers. Hard to blame them, right? - Sun, surf, tons of family... Well, they started begging us to move to Myrtle Beach. We started weighing the pros and cons. First pro was, it promised, perhaps, a simpler life. A life away from the hustle and bustle of NYC. A life for the kids that didn’t require “plans” - They could just go out and play, without having to decide where they were going, or how they were going to get there first. It might in fact, be liberating. The first hurdle, however, was schools. I grew up in Myrtle Beach, and the school system was terrible then. And the schools that Taylor and Zach attended in NY were among the best in the country (Taylor’s school, Trinity, is consider harder to get into than Harvard). Well, we discovered that schools have come along way in Myrtle Beach since I was there, and in fact, Socastee High school (where I went) now has one of the country’s best IB (international baccalaureate) programs. Furthermore, a brand new middle school was just built to cater to advanced students, which would be perfect for Zach. School problem solved. Then there was the job issue. Well, Buffy was tired of the cake business, and looking for a way out anyway. Up until now, every time she tried to quit, her clients would pull her back in... But if she’s not in town, she’s not in town. And me, I can act, write, direct, produce, etc... from anywhere. I can fly back to NY, fly to California, or Canada, hell, I could drive to Wilmington to shoot something. Besides, I’ve always thought about opening a theater in Myrtle Beach. So, that takes care of the jobs issues for Buffy and I, but what about the money generated from those jobs?

Well, five years ago we bought a 100+ year old Brownstone in Harlem, NY. And consequently, moved from a 1100 sq ft Upper West Side apartment into a 5000+ sq ft mansion. Of course, the catch was that this was a 100+ year old house in need of a lot of TLC. We have spent the past five years living in a construction zone. But we are finished (you can see pictures by clicking here: 417 Convent Ave). Lucky for us, the market in Harlem has skyrocketed over the last five years... Unlucky for us, the market across the US has tumbled over the past few months. Still, even with the declining market, we should make a handsome profit. So, we’re on the market (If you like what you see in the pictures, contact us)!

What about a place to live in Myrtle Beach? Well, we found one of the last four-acre lots available in the fast growing, beach front, tourist mecca of Myrtle Beach; and snatched it up! The plan: to build our dream home. Until we built our Dream Home, we’d live in a small Villa (700 sq ft) at Lakewood Camping Resort.

Everything seemed to be lining up, so Buffy and the kids packed up and moved to SC. I’ve been flying back and forth while I’ve been trying to sell the Brownstone. They’re living in that 700 sq ft Villa. We registered them in school, where they have been since the Fall. Everything seemed to be going to plan, but then things got interesting...

...The kids started to understand the meaning of the old saying, “The grass is always greener...”. Their summer exploits weren’t a part of everyday life once we actually moved Myrtle Beach. There was still school work to be done, deadlines to be met, bedtimes to be adhered to, etc... etc... It wasn’t much different than the day-to-day back in NY, only minus the culture, and like-minded people. We always knew there were stark differences in politics, religion, and social vision; but we didn’t know how stark. And we certainly didn’t know that those differences would exist so dramatically within the kids generation. They made friends, don’t get me wrong. They’ve always been able to make friends very easily. But they were finding that there were very few people with whom they wanted to be friends. Their words, not mine, “So many of the people we go to school with are so narrow minded, so closed minded, so bigoted, and prejudiced.” The thing that really bothered Buffy and I about this, was that Taylor and Zach weren’t experiencing these traits being focused on them, but were witnessing them being focused on others. Then there came another issue. The kids were acing all their classes - Effortlessly acing all their classes. And you have to know things like Taylor is a freshman in high school, and taking most of her classes (like Spanish 4) with seniors. And... she is tutoring many of them. They are both taking subjects, and reading books that they read and took two years ago! And according to the SC education system, they have to have those classes  (not subjects, but classes), and  take them in those grades in order to graduate. I know - It makes no sense. So, it would seem, that even though the schools in SC have come a long way since I was there... they are still two years behind NYC, and our kids. But of course, we still had the simplifying, liberating lifestyle to look forward to, right? Actually, the flying back and forth, the not seeing each other for sometimes weeks at a time, the having to drive everywhere instead of just walking or jumping on the subway, the - well, you get the idea... Not quite as simple, or liberating as we first thought.

So now what? Do we move back to New York? Do we move somewhere else. Do we stick it out, and make it work? The problem is, we still believe that we made the right decision in moving. So moving back to New York didn’t really seem right. And, we do still have the Brownstone, the Myrtle Beach lot, the place we are living at in Myrtle Beach, and of course a huge storage room filled with all the stuff from our house that didn’t fit in our Villa. We really seem sort of tied to the choices we’ve made. Do we even still have any choices? Things just, all of a sudden, seemed so complicated.

Then it occurred to us. In our efforts to simplify our lives by moving to the country (OK, beach), selling our house, etc... We had actually complicated our lives. We now have more then we did. Is it possible that the more things you own, the more they own you. Yes! It was possible! All of these things, the house, the lot, the other house, the storage room, the car, my motorcycle, the plane tickets to fly back and forth to see each other... it goes on, and on... These things were controlling us, and keeping us from experiencing life. We realized that it wasn’t South Carolina, or the people there, that was the problem; it was everything that was the problem. It wasn’t a need to move and be close to the beach, or our family, or to build our dream home, or to stop baking cakes, or to open a theater, or any of those things that we thought were inspiring us to make this move.

It was only the “Simplifying” part.

Moving somewhere else wasn’t going to accomplish that. We’d just build another house, and fill it with more stuff. We’d find new jobs and interest to hold us down, and shield us from the world around us. We realized that a rich person is not the person who has the most, but is the person who needs the least. It was this revelation that inspired me to write a little editorial I entitled The Currency of Life (you can read it by clicking here: The Currency of Life).

I wrote it very quickly. The words just came, and while I was writing it, I wasn’t even sure what it all meant. But, when it was done, I immediately emailed it to a bunch of our friends and family. Many of whom wrote back saying they were moved and inspired by it. However,  some of them wrote back asking why I wrote it, and what was it supposed to suggest about me, and even my family. Interestingly, I hadn’t even considered asking myself that question, and honestly had no idea how to answer it. So I went back and read it over, and over, and over again. I asked my wife, and kids to do the same. Finally, we all came to the same conclusion, at about the same time.

We’re not “spending our time” wisely... We weren’t interpreting our desire to move correctly. Because, you see, it wasn’t a desire to move at all - It was a desire to Move On... We were looking for the next stage in our lives, but we were using the wrong tools. We were looking with our eyes, not our hearts. There is a wonderful quote from The Little Prince by Antoine de Sainte Exupery that reads, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the naked eye.”. You can read that quote, but you can never understand it until you experience the need, the desire to see with your heart instead of your eyes.

So, we have decide to sell it all, and travel - The Brownstone, the Lot, the car, the motorcycle, and most of the stuff in all of those places and the storage room. Humphrey Bogart said, “The only thing money is good for is to buy your freedom.” Well, we’re buying our freedom. The freedom to experience life, not just read about it, or watch it on TV. It might seem reckless to you, but without a little recklessness in your life, what’s the point? If my kids are studying Pompeii, I say why don’t we go to Pompeii. I’ll tell ya, it was a cathartic moment for us all. Taylor and Zach actually said, “Can we leave tomorrow?”

So we’re buying Freedom... and I think freedom is Time... so we’re buying Time... And Time is the Currency of life...

...and we plan on spending it wisely.